Leap of Faith

I did it.  I took the plunge.  I have been looking for a job or something I could do while going to school, having an internship and being a mom to bring in some income.  September was this first month of me being completely unemployed since I was 14.  It's taken time to adjust to not being able to contribute financially.  It is also a time in Jordan and my lives when we need to increase our income to make steps to becoming financially free.  So I took a leap of faith on Sunday night and joined Stella and Dot as a stylist.

It is a huge step out of my comfort zone.  If you know me, you know I am a quiet person who usually doesn't say anything to anyone unless necessary.  Don't get me wrong, I love being around people and I love having conversations and talking to people.  I'm just not naturally very good at it.  I have felt drawn to it and love the vision of the company and the way it works.  I love that it brings women together for a fun night of making them feel pretty and developing community.

Stella and Dot is an awesome company.  Each piece has a story and is hand designed.  It gives women the opportunity to have a business of their own with out the hassle of starting a business.  There is work to be done and people to call, shows to be done, and we need lots of support.  We are a company that promises not to disappoint.

I went to my first meeting with my team of stylists in Richmond last night.  I had no idea what I was getting into.  It was super encouraging and all of the women there were welcoming and I felt like I could tackle the world when it was over.  This season of my life is going to be a new one for me and a challenging one.  I have high goals to accomplish.

I joined not just for the opportunity to make money but also for the opportunity to become a better version of myself.  I want to be better at talking to people and building relationships with people who have come into my life and who I typically miss opportunities of having meaningful conversation.  I want to be a better friend.  I want to catch up with all the people who I have let slip over time.  I want to encourage other women and be a success story in this business.

Look out world.  Who knows what will happen next?  Never thought I would be doing something like this.

I am having my launch show on January 27th.  Look for an invite in your inbox.  If you think I don't have your contact information and you are interested please email me at cnagle526@gmail.com.

A 15 year old changed my life....

July 6, 2009 was a day I will never forget.  It was the day Jordan and I brought home a 14 year old foster daughter.  She was just being released from Juvenile detention after being there over a month because she didn't have anywhere to call home.  She was being held there not because what she did was bad enough to warrant her a stay for that long but because her legal guardian gave up rights when she got into trouble.  The process to become foster parents is usually a long arduous process but for us went very quickly and very easily. 

Getting her was a lot like being pregnant and having a baby.  The maternal instincts kicked in right away.  I even found myself nesting the days before we were supposed to go pick her up.  We had been warned very little about the reality that would soon be ours.  We had been told her history and all of that but nothing could have prepared us for what we were about to embark on.  She lived with us for a year.  It was probably the hardest year of our marriage but it was one that helped me figure out what I was passionate about.

If you know me, you know that I changed my major like a billion times.  So many times in fact that I stopped turning in forms to say what my major was at the college.  I took some time off and just did prerequisites because I wasn't really excited about anything that I knew about at the time.  I loved working with kids with learning disabilities but wasn't sure I wanted to be a teacher.  I liked the one on one relationship building.

The only things I could say I was passionate about was Jesus, Jordan, and having fun.  That girl changed my mind.  I fell in love with taking care of her and helping her through all the mess she had been through in her past.  She became my first baby.  I love her with the same kind of love that I have for Caedmon.  She is the reason I decided to pursue a degree in Social Work.  I hope to be able to touch more children the same way I was able to help her.  It is really neat how I can tell that this was the degree that I was supposed to be in because each class I take reminds me of why I want to be a social worker.  Its all about helping people. 

I am back in school this semester.  Having a baby makes me think I don't want to work while going to school I am reminded of the passion I have to work with children like the girl who opened my eyes.  Now the challenge will be tying my life as a mom to my life as a student and later as a social worker. 

Jordan is one awesome husband who puts up with all my thoughts and loves and encourages me in every way.  I'm so thankful for him and for the future we have and what God has in store for us in the coming years. 

That's my rambling for now. Just wanted to share what I've been thinking about lately. 

Cuddling and imagining God's Embrace

This weekend Jordan, Caedmon and I went to the drive-in.  I had a lot of cuddle time with Caedmon as he slept in my arms during the movies.  He was what kept me warm and somehow made me think about what it would be like to have God embrace me in the same way I was embracing Caedmon.  I had my arms wrapped around him and a blanket over the two of us.  He was tightly pressed against me as he snuggled into my arm.  Then I got a glimpse into how safe he must feel and how loved he must feel.

Imagine what it would be like for our Heavenly Father to tangibly be able to hold us in this way.  How safe would you feel?  I can only imagine how peacefully I would sleep wrapped in his arms.  I imagine this presence is what he wants us to feel all the time.   Just a thought I wanted to share with you.  Hope it encourages you as it has me.

Happy Mother's Day!

Caedmon the "World Changer"

When I was 8 months pregnant, someone very close to me prayed over me and said while he was praying he just heard "world changer".  Right away I was really encouraged and began to ponder what that meant.  What was Caedmon going to do when he grew up to be a world changer?  How awesome and how blessed was I to be the one to carry this blessing and raise him to be a world changer?  My life was the first one that he changed.  Caedmon has changed so many things about my life.  He began to do so before he even entered the world.  It started right after I found out I was pregnant.   It's so amazing to me to see how much God can do through one life in just 14 months.  (10 months of pregnancy + 4 months out of the womb)

Lesson 1:  My life is not going to happen according to my plan and I shouldn't even want it to because His plan is so much better.  

This was one of the hardest lessons to learn.  I like to think about things and daydream about the future and when each thing is going to happen.  I do not like to plan down to the minute, day, or even week but long term plans I am ok with.   At the time when I realized I was pregnant, I was in school full-time, planning to continue and finish in a year.  I was still praying about whether I was going to go right into the master's program for Social Work.  I was about to quit my job nannying and go into my field placement for the summer.  We had just signed a lease with a roommate to move to Church Hill three days before.  All of these things were about to be affected by the news "I'm pregnant".  

⁸ 

Isaiah 55:8-9 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.

⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

Lesson 2:   God loves us and adores us as his children.  

I never realized how much I took sleep for granted until 3 days after Caedmon was born.  I think the longest I slept after he was born was 2 and a half hours and that was in the hospital the night he was born.  The nurse came in and strongly advised that I set an alarm so that I would not sleep that long again since I was supposed to feed Caedmon every 2 hours.  Waking up when the alarm went off after sleeping for only 45 minutes between each feeding was brutal but it was in that time that I realized how much God really loved me.  

In my willingness to get up and care for Caedmon with no sleep and every bodily fluid possible coming out on me, I realized how much God is willing to care for us and clean up our messes.  He is always there, always willing to talk, listen, and  wrap us in his presence.  He provides for our every need.  He cares for us so much that he was willing to send His son to die for us.  Even in our selfishness and sometimes not giving anything back, He loves us.   

1 John 4 ⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Lesson 3:  I was meant to be a mommy.  

I love being a mom.  I love turning to see Caedmon's smiling face because he sees me.  I love that I am the one that gets to comfort him when he is over stimulated, tired, hungry, or just wants me.  It melts my heart every time he falls asleep with me.  It is my most favorite job I've ever had.  I'm not saying, it's not hard sometimes or I sometimes can't wait to be able to put him to bed for some down time but I would much rather have him than all the down time in the world.  I am so thankful that God blessed us with him.  He really is a world changer and he doesn't even know it yet.  

I really feel that I kind of know how Mary felt when she sang this song.  

Luke 1:46-49  " My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.  From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me- holy is his name."

Lesson 4: How to really love my husband

It was amazing how getting pregnant changed our relationship for the best.  Not that our marriage was bad before but just that it was amazing after.  I love these two SOOOOO much.  Thank you God for blessing me with them.  

My loves :-)

The Name

Names are the first description of a person. When you meet someone the first thing and sometimes the only thing you find out is their name. So we wanted to pick the perfect one for our baby.  When we found out I was pregnant we immediately started discussing names. We each had some picked out but only a couple we both agreed upon. We both thought we were having a girl so we had a definite name picked out for a girl, up until week 20 when we found out we were having a boy.  For me it was really important to pick a name with great meaning.

Caedmon is a name we talked about long before I was pregnant. I read a book where one of the character's names is Kade. I love his character and his passion for God so I asked Jordan what he thought of the name. He liked it and mentioned the band Caedmon's call and so we looked up the meaning of the name Caedmon and it was "wise warrior". What a name! We both loved it. It's hard to name someone and have it be their name forever. There's a lot of pressure in picking the "right" name. We wanted something unique but not something that was so far off that he would hate his name growing up.

Jae-Sung was Jordan's name before he was adopted. His biological grandmother chose his name. It means "existent star" in Korean. To me the name has a lot of sentimental value. I love that Jordan was adopted because if he hadn't been I would have never met him but it also breaks my heart to think about how much he remembers and misses his family. So I wanted to honor where Jordan came from and the roots that are now in Caedmon. I want Caedmon to grow up knowing about where his dad is from and how he got here. It means a lot to me.

There is one famous Caedmon.
Wikipedia states "Caedmon is the earliest English poet whose name is known. An Anglo-Saxon who cared for the animals and was attached to the double monastery of Streonæshalch (Whitby Abbey) during the abbacy (657–680) of St. Hilda (614–680), he was originally ignorant of "the art of song" but learned to compose one night in the course of a dream, according to the 8th-century monk Bede. He later became a zealous monk and an accomplished and inspirational religious poet. His story is related in the Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum ("Ecclesiastical History of the English People") by Bede who wrote, "[t]here was in the Monastery of this Abbess a certain brother particularly remarkable for the Grace of God, who was known to make religious verses, so that whatever was interpreted to him out of scripture, he soon after put the same into poetical expressions of much sweetness and humility in English, which was his native language. By his verse the minds of many were often excited to despise the world, and to aspire to heaven."


We loved this! We have prayed many times that Caedmon would love the Lord with all his heart, his mind, and his soul and love others with so much grace.  We pray also that he would be a "wise warrior" for Jesus. Here is Caedmon's hymn. I hope it blesses you today.

Caedmon's Hymn (translated from Old English)
Now let me praise the keeper of Heaven's kingdom,
The might of the Creator, and his thought,
The work of the Father of glory, how each of wonders
The Eternal Lord established in the beginning.
He first created for the sons of men
Heaven as a roof, the holy Creator,
Then Middle-earth the keeper of mankind,
The Eternal Lord, afterwards made,
The earth for men, the Almighty Lord. <3<3

Here's what Caedmon looked like when we got to see him for the first time.

Dare I begin...

So here it is... another start to the blogging world in my life. Jordan keeps bringing up the idea of how I should blog. How he wishes I would blog and how he thinks it will be life changing for me. I must say I love to read other people's blogs and always hope that I could write something as interesting but thus far I have not been confident in my abilities so we will see how it goes.

18 weeks ago I was in labor at the hospital with my son. My labor had begun on a Sunday night and it was not until Thursday that I headed to the hospital. My labor was very weird. My contractions would start each night at about 8pm and by morning they would subside. Each day I would wonder, "is this THE day"? The day that would change my life forever, the day that I would realize how much I took sleep for granted, the day I would become a mommy.

Everyone told me to get sleep while I could but when I was pregnant I just wanted to sleep because I was so tired from being pregnant. Tired from not being able to sleep and just tired from making another human being in my womb. It's a lot of work. I must say I did not actually think about how much sleep I would not be getting when I was was 9 months pregnant and wanting to meet my little baby boy. My thoughts were consumed with getting things ready and making sure everything was in its place. And once I realized that something was always going to be out of place and I just needed to relax it was baby time.

So after 4 nights of contractions and only a few naps to keep up my rest, I headed to the hospital with the thoughts of "these people have got to do something for me. I can not keep going like this. If I am not in labor then they have got to knock me out so I can sleep." I was in pain and with each contraction I could not sit down or lie down. But to my surprise, once I got in the office of my midwife, she checked me and I was 9 or 8 cm dilated!! Then and there at about 9:45am I realized I was going to meet my baby for the first time that day. I was scared, excited, and nervous. I was prepared. We had our bags packed and in the care for almost a week by then and I knew all the birthing positions and what to expect at each stage.

I'm not going to go through all the gory details. I just want to tell you that it went perfectly as I hoped it would. I had prayed that I would not have to deal with awful contractions all the way to the hospital in the car. I had prayed that I would get to the hospital when I was close to the end and be able to stay home as long as possible. (8cm is pretty good) I had prayed that I would be able to handle natural labor. One day in my prayer time with the Lord, he reminded me to fix my eyes on him and that he would carry me through. That is what got me through the task of birthing. With each contraction, I was totally reliant on Jordan to hold me and remind me of breathing and rocking through the pain and that Jesus was going to carry me through it all. So with all that said I would like you to meet the newest addition to my life, Caedmon Jae-Sung. More to come on why we chose this name, what it all means, and how much he has taught me already in his 4 months of life.

Love Eachother

Imagine being spun around in circles in a dark room and then trying to find your way to the light switch. It would be easy if you knew the layout of the room and the lights had just been turned off but adding the turning in circles makes it difficult to reorient yourself to your familiar surroundings. I have recently realized I have been turning in circles with my eyes closed trying to figure out how to love people when the answer was right in front of me. Just do it. I loved my family all my life with out any hesitation until I became a Christian in 2004. Now I am almost seven years old in my faith in Christ and I am just figuring out how to do it again. I have fallen for all the lies that said my family is in need of saving, my family doesn't understand,my family is lost, and the list goes on and on. What I'm coming to realize about my family is that they really do get it. They love unconditionally, serve each other, and give generously. They love to spend time with me and I have forgotten how easy it used to be for me to hang out with them. It's like I have forgotten the meaning of family and the comfort I should have from being around them. The only thing they are missing is a relationship with Christ. I have told them about Him and now it is up to God to reveal himself and soften their hearts, not me. Now all I need to do is love because that is what God has called me to do.