Hope, Purpose, and Love

He gives me HOPE

He gives me PURPOSE

He gives me LOVE

For so many years, I walked in the wilderness, almost eighteen to be exact. I spent that time searching. When I realized there had be something more to this life, I started looking for a purpose. In every bad time I encountered, I went to God. I don’t know why or what put that in my heart, that God would hear me when I called. I guess maybe I was born with it, or maybe someone planted a seed of his word. Who knows? In elementary school I had anxiety issues and had to go to a shrink who told me my problems were from my mom leaving me. In middle and high school I struggled with bad thoughts, thoughts of suicide, cursing, disobedience, and self image which now I know is linked to a form of OCD. I can’t say that I don’t struggle with some of those now. In the spring of 2004 God called my name. On April 18, 2004, god touched my heart, reached out and grabbed me and gave me hope, purpose, and love.

Without Jesus, my lord and savior, I would not be able to see the light of hope in my life. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path (Psalm 119:105).” With out His light I would be in darkness. After living in darkness and not realizing what it really meant to live a life of sin, it was amazing to see the changes I needed to make. He revealed his truth to my heart. As I studied the bible, went to church, and made new relationships with Christians I could see the hope he had given all of us to live with. The life here on earth, 80 years average, is only a glimpse of what he has planned for us. Here on earth we struggle with sin, live with faults and trials, and battle the enemy. In Heaven we will be set free from all of those things. We will live the life he had intended for us from the beginning. It will be reset back to the time when He looked down upon the earth and said it was good, so very good. It is in him that we can find hope that one day everything will be good and it will be Heaven.

At the end of my senior year, I had some big plans for myself but that all changed when God looked down on me and called me out and gave me a purpose. It did not change like a flash of lightning. It was a “process” that all Christians have to go through. I didn’t even change my life until I went away to college in August2004 and even now there are things I am still working on. Jesus said in Matthew 28:18-20, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." In the driver seat of my car, sitting at the church I found to be my home in Knoxville, TN, I pondered the meaning of that verse. I was battling feelings of whether I should stay in Knoxville or come back home to Richmond. I really had no idea what I was going to do in either place. I just wanted to make the right decision. By this time I had made a small group of Christian friends who held me accountable and showed me what life really meant. I joined my very first small groups. I found purpose and I was on fire. I wanted to touch people’s lives and show them why I was so happy and where I found my hope. In 1Peter 3:15 Peter writes, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” I was living this out in my own way at first. Once I met opposition it got harder. My family was the first to hurt my faith. They wanted me to come home from UT because they believed I was in a cult. Being so on fire, I had talked to all of them about Jesus, how my life had changed, what I thought they needed to do to get to heaven and how to live this life. Ouch! Did that hurt the relationships I had, especially on my dad’s side of our family. My life has not been easy since I became Christian but it has been more joyful. After three years of being a follower of Christ, I realized love I the one thing that conquers all of the opposition we face.

When Jesus walked in this world, he walked in love with everyone. For us to walk with him we must walk in love. God inspired me with this knowledge through the reading of his word and the other Christian leaders that I take advice from. I’ve learned that the only way we can teach others about Christ is to live like him and to show people the respect and love that he would have shown them if he were here, no matter how awful we think they are. I follow Christ because he loves me and because I know he is faithful. He has loved me all of my life, through my sin and shame. He has blessed me with the ability to love others, to see past their iniquities, and go out of my way to show them my faith.

Jesus Christ died for us to have life. He lived a life with out sin and suffered for our sins so that we would make the cut to be on God’s team. In the many blessing that I have received since I turned my life over to Christ, I got hope, purpose, and love. I know so many other people who need these things in there life.