I never knew what it would look like to be a social work major. I never knew what things I would have to think about or question in myself. I've had to discuss so many hot topics in the last 10 weeks of my education that it has totally shaken my world. I have learned about discrimination and other forms of oppression people face daily while I ignorantly go through the day oblivious. People actually are experiencing it right in front of my face and I have been so blind to it till now. The beginning of the semester was the beginning of my realization of these things and a righteous anger welling up inside of me. I have been so angry at all of the privileges I have been afforded for being white, middle class and able. I have been humbled by the things I have been blessed with while people who are just like me have had to fight, face hurt, and been denied the opportunities I have had.
It is so hard for me to think about the injustices and not get angry. My foundation is solid on the rock but the structure of my faith is reorganizing and going through renovations. God has taught us to love Him most and to love our neighbor as ourselves. How can we do this with out contradicting the beliefs in the Bible? God says that homosexuality is wrong but where do we draw the line on oppressing them? I want to think that it is wrong to deny them rights because they are people just like me. Why do I deserve special treatment? I am no better than they are. Why is there label so strong that it defines who they are? How am I supposed to advocate for the person and not for the sin? All of these things I have been struggling with. I want so badly to glorify God and to not cause anyone to stumble but I do not want to advocate for sin or be unloving towards any person. Where are we supposed to draw the line? Is there a way to do both?
I'm not sure what the answers are to these questions... I'm not sure there is a clear answer. I have learned a lot in the last two weeks about people and God. God loves all people. He sees down to their core. I am so tired of the Christianese talk and the fake masks that we wear every day. I want to see the reality of it all and how ugly we are with out Jesus. We all struggle with something and who is to say which thing is worse than the other. I don't believe that is how God works. The bible says there is no favoritism or partiality. I am just asking for people to be real with one another. Show your weaknesses and your strengths. Share them with people so that you can encourage one another. God wants to use our failure for his glory; we just need to let him. Opening up and showing our brokenness gives him the avenue to express his love and how to make it through this walk of faith. It also helps us to love people because it is when we actually can understand the love of God. God loves us in our brokenness. We do not need to do anything to earn it. Nothing we do will surprise him. He knows our inner most thoughts and still calls us to him. I am humbled at the thought of how much he loves us. I really want to be more like Him and just love people where they are for who they are and not what they do.
God open my eyes and my heart to love people the way you do. Teach me to walk in your ways and to see them the way you do. Help me to be open and honest with the places that I am failing in. Help me to shine a light in the darkness and to lead people to you. I give you all the honor, all the glory and all the praise. In your son's precious and mighty name I pray. Amen.
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