All I have to say is God is SOOO Amazing!! This year has been one of the toughest in my life. I have struggled through a lot of bondage but I am beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel of darkness.
James: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
I want more than anything to be mature and complete in my walk with God. God says we should be like a tree firmly planted by a wellspring of water but I have a hard time staying in one spot for long periods of time. When I don’t see a point to what I am doing I am quick to quit and I hardly have ever finished anything I have started on my own. At this realization I have decided to be determined to finish things that I start even in the face of trials.
So trials are what God gives when you ask him for wisdom to move on to the next level of maturity… If I only knew before, I might have enjoyed the trials a little more. I have struggled with the idea of Trust and have been insecure for what seems like my whole life until now. Anxiety started attacking me when I was in third grade. It has come and gone since then and this past year has been a quest for healing and triumph once and for all. Anxiety is what has brought me into a relationship with the Lord. Through my adolescence I sought God because I was scared of my anxiety. Even now my anxiety draws me to God but I am not scared of it anymore because I know God, who gives me peace. He has expressed his love for me in the greatest book ever written, the Bible! No one could express love greater than Him. I am not sure where this is taking me but I will keep you posted. I am sorry if this is all over the place. I pray that your hearts are touched as I am completely honest with you through this process.
Psalm 23 has changed my life over the last three weeks. Whenever I feel anxious I just read it and find peace.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Just receive the things it says and believe God for the victory over what ever you are going through. Peace be still is all I hear over and over when I am anxious. Just get to know Him and trust in Him.
Love you guys,
Courtney
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